Co-parenting can be difficult in the best of circumstances, but it becomes much, much harder if you add a parent’s undiagnosed, untreated medical condition. In some cases– the ideal ones– parents will welcome a diagnosis and treatment. In other cases, unfortunately, the parents either do not believe they have an illness or they are scared to admit they do and do not seek treatment for that reason.
Assessing the situation
The first step you should take is hiring an attorney. This is important because a parent’s mental health–and the effect it can have on a child– is a very important matter, that you have to assess carefully and with compassion and understanding. Ask yourself if you know for sure that the other parent is ill, or if you suspect it is so. Does your child tell you things that concern you? Due to the sensitivity of the issue, it is best to have the guidance of an attorney, especially if you might end up going to court for this.
Prioritize your child
Your child’s safety and security should always come first. If you have any reason to believe that your child is at risk, is not safe, has been harmed or could be harmed, take action immediately. This could mean filing an emergency motion to modify your current custody arrangements, which is why it is critical to have your attorney from the very beginning.
Open a dialogue
If you feel that it is safe and appropriate, begin a conversation with the other parent. It is always best to begin by saying that you are concerned about them, and want to know how best you can support them. Express compassion and try not to mention anything about custody–your attorney can do that if necessary.
Consult with your attorney
Again, if you have not done so already, consult with your attorney as soon as possible. Explain to them everything that is going on, show them what you have documented and get their perspective on the situation, and whether it is appropriate to seek a modification of custody.
In conclusion, suspecting that your co-parent suffers from mental health–especially if it is harming your child– can be a very difficult situation to be in. By approaching the situation with empathy, compassion, consideration and care, you will find your way through this challenge.
